DEAR CRUSH SEASON 1 EPISODE 15--16
"Comeon baby" he said but he was not looking at me, his hand was stretched out but not to me.
I followed the dirction of his eyes and my heart stopped again. He choose her? Ryan wants her? I froze, my heart ached and i felt like it was going to jump out of my chest, if this is a dream then its time for me to wake up, someone should come and wake me up.
She grinned and glance at me, she saw the surprise and pain i felt and i knew she was happy.
Ryan didnt spare me a glance he just pulled her up and they both walk to the stage.
Someone!! Please wake me up.
I watched in horror as Ryan wrapped his arms around her dancing, she was so excited laughing and dancing like a puppy dog and if looks could kill she would have drop dead a minute ago.
I couldnt take it anymore, I dragged my stupid self up and rushed out. Once i was out of the gate i took of my shoes and took to my heels. Dont ask me were i was going because i myself have no clue.
As i ran i felt like my heart was running away from me, it was like i was going to die anytime soon, Pain was riding through me. That kind of pain i cannot describe.
Maybe i was wrong to want him so much or maybe i should have told him what i felt for him, was it my fault?
Why would i think he would wanted someone like me? After all am not his type.
I held my head so thight like i was preventing it from falling of my neck and from the day i met Ryan till this day everything flooded into my head like it was pushed in by the force of my grip.
Right from the day i bumped into him and down to the time he saved me from been hit by a truck, I remembered the way he held me in his arms not wanting me to fall.
And the second time i bumped into him he's strong arms were wrapped around my waist, he stopped my tears.
He invited me to his party and stared me while i sang, he said i sang real well. He even danced Ed sheeran's shape of you with me at the party with me last night with his eyes fixed on mine.
He turtored me this morning.
The the kiss *sobs* he kissed me intensly like the air he breaths comes from my lips.
And now everything, all of this remained fresh and vivid in my system refusing to lick out but Ryan forgot everything, they flew out of his memory.
I was expecting him to take my hand and lead me up to the stage but he didnt. He didnt even spare me a glace or behaved like exist but i would always glare at the image of him on my camera.
He took me as a friend but he kissed me then choosed someone else to date. Someone i hate and someone that hate me most.
Yes.....Its Natasha
I was still running when i heard a music i recognised sounding from a nearby bar "I thought you loved me too" by Daniel Mustard.
With a broken heart and a cracked voice, I sang along.
*In the written word of a broken hearted.
I dont know what you've heard.
I dont know where it started but everyone knows there is a reason left to hear from old.
*With no bride to cross, much less sense to burn, when wveything you've lost is evrything you've earned.
I'm not hard to find but you are not looking, not this time.
I'm sorry i thought you loved me too
I guess you musnt wonder why i do the crazy shit i do.
And you seemed to be satisfied, denying it was true.
Ain'nt just like you tho to hind behind some great disguse.
*Delete my number disconect the phone and let love slumber tonight I'll alone in this world of wonder?
Well i fall like thunder while you keep your toes
Any other time you'll be hard pressed to find
In the written word of the heart broken
*I dont go half the nerve, i dont go half the parts
Bit i better piece myself together or I'll remain like this forever.
I cried more singing the song i thought he loved me but i was wrong even all the shit i did because of him and the stupid i acted because of him were all in vain.
I thought he loved me too but i was wrong. So wrong.
I stopped running and fell to the ground, my hand placed on my chest and my eyes up gazing at the sky. I wish i could be like the sky, the moon or the stars.
I wish i was never born nothing made sense, no family, no sibling and the friends i thought i hard dissapeared when i knew i needed them most.
I was still on the floor crying when a bold ligt flash across my face, I quickly turned to my left to see a truck speeding towards me like it was been handled by a reckless driver.
Shiver ran through my spin as the thought of how Ryan saved me then it made me think, who would save me this time? Maybe no one.
As the car horned loudly i felt a pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist and I was been lifted of the ground. Someone is carrying me.
"no, no, let go off me, dont save me anymore" I kept yelling and swinging my both legs till i was thrown to the floor out of the road.
"And who told you I saved you before, are you high or something?"
"What?"
That voice, that rude voice.
No its not Ryan's.
I tossed my head upward and my eyes landed on a set of blue eyes. Who gave him the right to save me? How dare he?
Yes...its no one else but a rude jerk, dumb ass, arrogant freak, cold hearted, player. Mr Easton fucking Baxter. The one I dispise.
"How dare you save me?" I yelled at his face.
"I shouldnt have but i cant bear to see your blood stain this road. He smirk. I hate this guy he always add to my problems.
"Dont ever same me again, all of you f**king REDS, stay away from me" fresh tears began to well up in my eyes.
He glared at me and for the first time his eyes narrowed in concern.
"You are dumb" he frowned, "because you love him you now behave like a pathetic freak for a guy who doesnt even notice you"
"And its none of your bussiness" i spat
"Yes" he said almost immediately "its none of my bussiness but if i were you i would pick up my pieces or you'll remain this way forever, You are better than that" he pointed to me and turn around walking away.
"Eston" i called calmly, he stopped at his track without facing me.
"Thank you" i muttered.
"Dont thank me cos i wont save you next time, I'll let you die you are not even important anyways" he said walking away and dissapearing into darkness.
"Janelle" Ivy ran up to me as is struggled to open my locker, my heart was still aching from yesterday's event and no matter how much i try to hide it just so obvious that am sad.
Ivy parted my shoulder and i turned to face her, she was sad too and it made me remember what she said "He has slept with so many girls than an accountant can count". I sobbed and rested my head on her shoulder.
"sorry" she muttered parting my back. "You'll be fine."
I walk to the girls room and stood infront of the mirrow staring at my dupicate, my eyes were red and swollen, my hair unarranged, my dressing inproper. I have never been this way before, The once old Janelle is braver, she is more confident, she is not too emotional.
But coming to this school turned everything around, knowing Ryan turned everything around, why i would i look this way because of one stupid crush i have on a player.
"Janelle this is not you!!!" I yelled at the mirrow "Just like Daniel Mustard's i thought I loved you lyrics" I would pick up my pieces if not i will remian like this forever.
Everyone who wants to see me hurt and cry I promise you, I'll show you the stuff am made of.
F**K YOU ALL!!
"Hey Janelle" Ryan stopped me when walking to the class.
"Yea?" I turned to face him.
"Are you alright?" his eyebrow furrowed.
"Huh? Do i look like someone who is not alright?" I raised my eybrow at him.
"Ahh no, no worries" he chuckled "Well would you like me to come over and tutor you today?
"Aww Ryan thanks, I actually have a friend who would help me do that" I smilled "and by the way thanks for yesterday."
"Ok alright" he nodded.
"Ryan" that dumb ass Natasha ran up to him and hugged him kissing him like a desparate sex addict right infront of me. Her intention is to hurt me both i pray they both handle it when they start hurting each other.
I sigh and walked away.
I walk to the school theatre to sign up for music, this would be my first step to get me distracted from everything around.
"Good day " i greeted the young girl giving out forms. "I wanna sigh for music class" i told her.
"Am sorry but its closed"
"What? How come? But it just started last week"
"Yes but we already have many candidate, am sorry you have to wait till next year" she told me.
"No please i cant wait till next year" i pleaded.
"look miss am busy you have..."
"What is going on here?" a female voice interrupted.
"Mam she wants to sigh for music and she is been sturborn when i told her its closed" the girl explained.
"Hello am Claire am the music auditor, so whats your name?" she asked.
"Janelle zenith mam" i replied.
"hmm ok" she search her file. "but you are already registered since last week so whats the problem?" she raised her head to look at me.
"Huh? Registered how?" i asked confused.
"Here" she passed me the form "fill it and bring it back" she glared at me like i was some kind of fool to forget i already registered
"Thanks" I collected it and left.
Who on earth got me registered? I thought.
My bicycle was left to a man who would fix the wheels and the brake, but I couldnt get it till the next day so I had to ride with Ryan home.
"Where were you going?" he asked as when stopped infront of our gate.
"Just a taking a joy ride" I replied.
"Me too" he chuckled. "why dont you forget about your old bike so I'll get you a new one" he surgested.
"No thanks, it can be repaired anyways" I told him, he nodded and silence dropped between us, we stood staring at each other than and it made me so uneasy so I looked away since it was .
"Janelle" he called and packed his bike he has been holding for a while.
"What is it Ryan?" I asked.
"Eston is really lucky to have you" he smiled at me.
"I think am the luckiest here" I returned the smile.
"Janelle" he called again and ran his hands through his hair like he was unsure of what to say. I glance at his green eyes, there were so sad, does eyes that once pierce me like a drop of living water to my soul were really so sad.
"Janelle take care ok?" he said.
"I'll get going" I nodded "bye" I waved and turned around to leave when suddenly I felt a pair of hands wrapped around my waist and I felt weighed at the side of my shoulder.
"Ryan what are you doing?" I asked softly.
"Just a hug please... am freezing" he said and thightened his grip around my waist. Something urged me to pull away but I couldnt till I heard a ranging voice behind me.
"What is the meaning of this?"
Ryan quickly pulled away and we turned around to see Eston standing with an angry and painful expression on his face.
I turned to Ryan, his face was filled with guit just like I am.
What I have always been scared of has finally happened.
"I just asked a question" Eston yelled.
"Eston please calm down Ryan and I...." I walked towards him and tried to hold him but he moved back like I was contacted with a deadly virus. It hurts.
"Eston am sorry we just met by accident" Ryan tried to explain.
"Really now? And you are here hugging my girlfriend by accident isnt it?" Eston raised his eyebrow.
"Eston I...." I tried to explain.
"Just shhh" he walked away indicating the conversation was over.
"Am sorry really Janelle" Ryan apologised. but I didnt stand to listen, I just ran after Eston.
"Eston please wait" I ran to him before he could get into his car.
"Eston am so sorry, Please dont loose trust in me, am so sorry" I held his hand.
"Why? Do you think its easy seeing my friend hugging my girlfriend in such manner?" he asked hurt.
"Eston am sorry I didnt mean for that to happen"
"And you stood still and let him hug you like that?"
"Eston please its just a friendly hug"
"But it doest look like that" he yelled.
"Rock" I called hurt. He glared at me and ran his hands through his hair feeling fustrated.
"Look noodles am sorry for yelling ok?" he took my hands in his "I felt so hurt seeing you two that way and I was also jealous too" he made a baby face "noodles please..." he was saying but I interrupted him by pressing my lips against his.
He was surprised for a while but he then wrapped his arms around me and kissed me back.
"Am sorry Rock" I pulled away and lay my head on his chest with my hand on his arm, rubbing and caressing it.
"You know noodles, if accusing you would make you kiss me like this then I guess I'll do that often" he joked.
"Crazy jerk" I hit his arm.
"Big head" He laughed running his hands through my hair.
The feeling was elcetrifying.
ESTON'S POV
I got so jealous seeing them that way, why should Ryan hug her that way? I was annoyed at him but I just kept calm and refrain from punching his nose because his my buddy.
I trust noodles and know she wont hurt me. I dont joke with this angel who is hugging me like this. And no matter what she'll always be mine.
RYAN'S POV
It felt like I was in heaven hugging Janelle; I was enjoying all of it that I didnt notice Eston standing a mile away from us.
I felt sorry for him and also felt guity, seeing us that way hurt him I hope it doest cause any conflict between us.
But why cant Janelle be mine? Why cant I have her? Its has always been Eston.
He has always been the best among the REDS, he gets everything before I even try to make an atempt. He got all the good grades and good names. It has always been Eston.
Now Janelle, can I leave without someone amazing like her?
*
*
I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling thinking about all that happened today. And I wish I could erase them all from my memory except for the good time I spent with Eston.
I was just about closing my eyes to sleep when my phone suddenly beeped. I glared at the screen of my phone and it was a message from Ryan. It says.
"Thanks for today, its cool spending today with you, I cant help myself to believe the fact we dont always get what we want but I just hope everything turns out well"
I glared at the meassage as many thoughts ran through my mind. What exactly is his problem?
Dedicated to Oge Peace.
Episode 16
I stretched and yawned lazily on the bed too weak to get up or even go to school. I just wish its weekend already.
"Janelle you'll be late for school" I heard my mums voice.
"Am preparing" I yelled back and rushed into the bathroom.
"You didnt return home with your bike yesterday what happened?" my dad asked. I hate having such parent they never notice the good things about me only the little and unreasonable things.
"It got damaged, so I left it to a man who would repair it" I replied not looking at him.
"But I tried warning you about the broke brake yesterday but you didnt even wait to listen" my dad said
"Am sorry dad" I said not looking at him.
"No you are not, you have to trek to school today so next time you learn your lesson" he backed.
I nodded and took my bag before rushing out.
"Why are you late?" Mr Ricks asked immediately I stepped into the class.
"Am sorry sir I had something to fix" I told him.
"Well you can do the rest of the fixing in the detention class for two hours" he said.
"But sir..." I tried to complain but stopped when he gave me a horifying look.
"Two hours detention after this lesson miss Zenith, you can take your seat" he said and faced the board.
"Why are you late?" Ivy asked immediately I took my seat beside her.
"I had to trek because my bike got damaged yesterday" I told her.
"Is that why you are so moody?" she asked.
"Not just that" I lean my head on my palms.
"So what?" she raised her eyebrow.
"Eston caught Ryan and I hugging yesterday" I told her.
"What?" her eyes burged out of her socket. "why Janelle?" she gave me a dissapointed look.
"Its not what you are thinking ok? We just met by accident"
"So what?"
"He still loves me" I said.
"Janelle see am getting tired of all this Ryan Issue i think its high time you tell Eston about it, unless you are strong enough to handle it when you loose him" she said with a frowned before facing the board.
I glared at my wrist watch and, I still had about an hour to spend in the detention, the time seem to take forever in moving. I wouldnt have even notice that if Eston was here with me.
I took out my camera and started glaring at some images to keep my self busy when the door suddenly swung open I looked up from my camera and it was Ryan.
"Ryan what do you want?" I dropped my camera giving him a steady look. "Why are you stocking me?" I frowned.
"What stocking you?" his eyebrow furrowed "how?" he slamed the door shut walking towards me.
"Stay there please dont come close" I took a step back.
"Why?" he kept walking towards me and I kept moving back till my back hit the wall at the extreme end of the class.
"Move away Ryan" my voice became shaky.
"You are right Janelle" he placed his hand on the wall above my head "am stocking you, I love you"
"Ryan get away from me" I pushed him by the chest.
"Please love me too" he took my hand and drew his head closer trying to kiss me"
"Let go of me Ryan" I yelled trying to free my self from his grip but it was too thight. "let go" I screamed in pains then stepped on his foot and pushed him backward.
"Ahhh" he shrieked in pains and lost balance falling backward but since he was holding onto me I was pulled along and we both landed on the floor. I was ontop of him, he stared at me I stared too and just immediately the door swung open.
"Detention is...." Mr Ricks stopped his statement shocked at the position he saw us.
I stood up quickly and dashed out of the class in a hurry.
ESTON'S POV
I was in the locker room changing to my gym wear when I suddenly heard a slow and suspicious movement behind me.
"I looked around and there stood Natasha licking and biting her lower lips with her eyes roaming through my bare chest.
"What do you want?" I turned around putting on my shirt.
"Eston" she called and came from behind rubbing my back.
"Natasha get out" I turned around and pushed her away.
"Why?" she said softly "You guys no longer want me huh?" "since that girl Janelle came in you guys now treat me like a gabbage"
"Natasha you can leave now you can see am busy" I said putting my stuff in my gym bag without sparing her a glance.
"You see? When it comes to me you suddenly become busy, I always get what I want am always the queen but since that Janelle came in you guys no longer notice me, especially you Eston, you know I love you so much please..." she pleaded.
I just hate this girl, even hearing her voice annoys me, she thinks she can fool me like she did to Ryan, no...am not stupid.
"Eston please love me too" she pleaded again.
"Look Natasha just go away if you have nothing better to say" I told her walking away.
"Ok maybe I dont" she blocked my exit "but I have something better to show you" she dipped her hands into her pocket and brought out a small phone.
"This is the princess you choose over me" she stretched the phone to me.
As I glared at the screen pain sliced through me like a million times knife.
Ryan and Janelle.
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